


pick a path

by SinginInTheRaine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fix-It, Minor Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Endgame, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 18:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinginInTheRaine/pseuds/SinginInTheRaine
Summary: Steve chooses the path he feels in his heart is right. It turns out, that isn't actually the path he feels in his heart is right.Spoilers. Spoilers. SO MANY spoilers for Endgame.





	pick a path

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be honest. I'm not really sure what I want to do. On one hand, I have an idea of this epic piece that will justify the epic love story I know my bbs deserve. On the other hand, I sort of just want to write the abbreviated version to get it out of my head. I literally saw Endgame this afternoon, and now I can't sleep, because I love them and I refuse to let this be the end of them.
> 
> So here is the beginning. Of something short or something long, I have no idea yet. Maybe I'll know more in the morning.

Everything felt wrong. It wasn’t supposed to. It was supposed to feel right. He was supposed to feel right. She was supposed to feel right. _They_ were supposed to feel right.

It was what he had always wanted. Did always want. Still always wanted. He wasn’t sure anymore.

There was one tiny tube in the pocket of a suit now slung in the far back corner of a closet. He didn’t know why he kept that suit anyway. He would never use it.

Can’t just throw it in the trash, he’d told himself. Too dangerous. What if someone sees?

Can’t just destroy it, he’d told himself. What if destroying it does something unforeseen? Too dangerous.

So in the closet it had gone. Where he would never have to look at it or think about it or do anything with it.

Except now that suit, and that tiny tube, was like an albatross around his neck. In the dark of night, in the middle of a cuddle session on the couch … it was all he could think about.

That and about how this felt wrong. But he had wanted it for so long, how could it be wrong?

“You don’t love me.” It was Peggy who broached it, one warm summer night. They were sitting outside on the balcony of the townhouse she lived in, in the middle of New York City.

He stared at her in genuine confusion. “Of course I do.”

She shook her head, her smile warm, her face showing nothing but adoration. “No, Steve,” she said, and her voice was gentle, kind, loving — the way it had been in his memories for so, so long. “You love the idea of me.”

“You’re right here,” he protested. 

“I am,” she said. “But you shouldn’t be.”

“I regret telling you the truth.” About the reality he’d walked away from, about the infinity stones, about the life he’d once had.

Peggy laughed, and even that was gentle. She leaned against him, the feel of her safe and comforting.

“Maybe you do,” she said. “But you know it’s true.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He shook his head, the stubbornness inside him rearing its ugly head. He’d thought about it — of course he had — in brief moments. When he woke up, when he went to sleep, in the still of the day when he tried hardest not to think about. “I can’t go back.”

“Of course you can.”

“There’s nothing to go back for,” he said, and now he looked away from her. So she couldn’t see his eyes. So he didn’t have to see her see his eyes.

“What if that’s not true?”

He turned his head slowly back around.

“What if there’s a way to get her back?” Peggy asked, as simple as if she were asking him if he wanted another cup of coffee after breakfast.

“What?” he said. “There’s not. What’s done cannot be undone. Not in my reality.”

“How do you know if you didn’t try?”

“I can’t.” 

“Of course you can,” Peggy said. “You’re not a quitter, Steve Rogers.”

“I’m not quitting anything.”

“Good,” Peggy said. “Because if you love her, don’t you need to try?”

**Author's Note:**

> In my head, Steve decides to stay with Peggy in the 70s because Nat is dead and it's easier for him to let himself believe that this is what he always wanted rather than realizing that what he actually wanted can no longer be.
> 
> I refuse to believe any other possible scenario. Marvel can fight me if they want.


End file.
